Wish Me Luck--Aah!!

I have a completely reasonable fear about getting this PICC line put in.

A PICC line is a Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter, it is threaded up through a vain to the heart.

The last time I had one put in, June of 2007, it was put in while I was in the hospital. The nurses who put the line in for me told me to make sure not to let anyone use it if anything happened to it such as if it came out even a little.

The next day the line got caught on my hospital bed as I quickly sat up and close to 6 inches of the PICC line got yanked out my arm. Let me say, excruciating pain!! The most painful thing that I can ever remember happening.

Of course I had an awful doctor who wanted to use the line even though it was hanging halfway out my arm!

He was convinced that I had pulled it out myself and to "teach me a lesson" he wanted to still use it that way.

Then when I started freaking out (why in the WORLD would I purposely put myself through that!?! AND then lie about it!?) he was convinced I just had anxiety and that was what was causing me to freak out so he wanted to just fill me with Ativan (anti-anxiety medication)!

This event was the first time I'd ever had a panic attack and was the beginning of my Panic Disorder.

Thankfully my mom was in the room the entire time (this event wasn't even the half of it) so she wrote a detailed letter that ended up getting this doctor yelled at by his supervisor in front of all of the doctors at a meeting.

So after this event (I still have the scar from it) I am terrified of tomorrow's 10:30am appointment in the injection center. I know that what happened to me isn't normal but I'm still incredibly worried.

...aah!..